Title Here

hehhehehe laughing quietly is so hard! hehehehe

2011-04-13T19:15:00.000-07:00

if you know someone who talks in their sleep.... make sure you poke them and listen carefully. hehe this one used to blabber away in dutch, but now he talks away in english and it's so much fun! :D:D:D hehehehe

make me smile

2011-04-12T14:07:00.000-07:00

the man i love is sleeping on his back with his leg tucked under the other one and breathing loudly (lets not call it snoring) with his mouth open....
cuteness <3
its a big responsibility you've given me: your happiness

Is this going to happen everytime?

2010-05-01T22:22:00.000-07:00

haan yeh such hai ke main tumse pyaar nahi karti magar phir kyun mera dil dukhta hai tumhe uss ke saath dekh kar? kyun mere dil mein ek dard sa mehsoos hota hai, jaise kissi ne mere dil ko bardhe nazakat se ghop diya hai

buss itni si baat hai. mujhse kuch mat kaho. mera dil roraha hai, usse ronai do. tum mujhe kya tasali doge, tum khud apne aap ko nahi sambhal paarahai ho.

March something II

2010-04-10T12:50:00.000-07:00

Aah he frustrates me in every way possible. Sometimes I wonder what I see in him. But then aren't friends like that? Annoy each other, laugh together, smile...sounds more like family than friendship. OK skip this bullshit and lets get to the point. He promised me an answer and I want it. I'm trying to play cool and casual here and not desperate but my patience is wearing very very thin and my annoyance is emerging.

a step further

2010-03-05T07:47:00.000-08:00

ok we have a problem. when things become so intense that you feel forbidden words wanting to come out of your mouth, you need to stop. specially because this won't be a one time thing, it'll mean much more than it should, and it'll lead to a situation neither of us want. but you tell me, how do we control it? because right now i'm just going with the flow, and i'm completely overwhelmed by sensations and feelings i haven't felt for a while. i'm mature enough to know this is just carnal desire and lust but god it feels good to be alive.

to believe or not to believe...that is the question

2010-03-04T16:20:00.001-08:00

So now I'm confused. Sometimes I think I just dreamt that night. I mean all it took was for me to look in the mirror and BAM! it hit me. Really? Really Aaron? Really? What are the chances that really happened? I mean I know what his taste is. And I'm as far away from that as humanly possible, so how could it be that even for those few minutes he wanted me? And the reality check is that we're totally back to normal, not that I mind. I mean I'm so glad because I haven't lost one of my best friends, but we're exactly as we were before this whole dramatized fantasy happened. As if he never said "I don't think I can do the right thing."

As if he never asked me to choose the course of the night. I wonder...did it happen? God I hope it did because it's my precious little gift that I want to hold onto forever and ever. But now its slipping away and I think it never happened. My older sister said talk about it...but I'm scared. Scared now that it was all just in my head. And if it wasn't what would I say? "Thank you for making feel like I was something precious and like something that you had to control yourself from laying your hands on." "thank you for making me feel adorable and sexy and like something you desperately needed" I don't think I've ever felt like that, wanted in the most desperate and tender way. And now I don't even know if that was real. Am I making it up? I mean nothing in the way he acts shows those few minutes even happened. Maybe its a good thing we never talked about it because honestly I'm now so so sure it was in my head. O well. Dreams are what make the world go round. And the reality is that I have a wonderful friendship that I want to hold onto forever and ever and never wanna risk losing...well for as long as I can manage. And those few minutes aren't worth messing everything up.

The night of March 2nd 2010.

2010-03-03T02:38:00.000-08:00

Remember this night Aaron. It was probably one of the most painful, difficult, bittersweet nights of your life. To have something you want so so bad, so so close and right there in your arms, and to ask it to let go. Even though a big part of you won, the part that has to answer to God, the part that has to look into your parent's eyes, your brother's eyes, and your older sister's eyes, a small part of you died. The part that now knows that you will never break the rules and take what you really want. No matter how much you want it. I guess you are still a little girl from Saudi Arabia who will always have boundaries.
O God why test me so? I was so ready to say yes. Damn him for asking me. Damn him for being so good. Damn him for being so strong. Damn him for being what I wanted, who I wanted, and nobody else but exactly him in that moment. Damn him damn him damn him damn him!!

*sigh* No I don't hate him. I don't think I will ever be capable of hating him. But he's right. I don't want to loose him and if we weren't so strong, this friendship would be over. And I love him way too much as a friend to even consider that. This friendship between us has definitely changed. I know it's not lost, but I wonder what the morning will bring. I guess all those times my Mom said it, she was right. Girls and boys can never be just friends.

Time to Part

2010-02-28T16:25:00.000-08:00

There are many ways to lose friends and distance is the worst way. Because everything is up in the air. You can't control anything. I hate it. I'd rather get into a fight and part ways then lose a friendship to distance and have something sweet fizzle out and die.

Doodling in Physics

2010-02-27T13:37:00.000-08:00

I am a pond
all it takes is a touch
and I ripple and shimmer.
I am the grass
all it takes is a breeze
and I nod in agreement.
I am a cloud

all it takes is a little water
and I'm gloomy with disappointment.

I am the wind

all it takes is some cold

and I run terrified.

I am a shadow

all it takes is some light

and I trail and follow.
I am the moon

all it takes is a rock

and I am riddled with holes.

I am the stars

all it takes is a mist

and my glow is dimmer.

I am a flame

all it takes is some water

and I sputter and drown.

I am a heart

all it takes is a little love

and I am happy.

I am a smile

all it takes is a kind word

and I widen with joy.

you know you've lost it when you start dreaming about someone messaging you on skype

2010-02-27T08:23:00.000-08:00

yea so guess what i was dreaming about -_- yea i wanna hit me on the head as well. so where was i? o yea...

Category 1: Hair

Everyone knows what I like. I have certain points that must be met and these points aren't negotiable. Well not until now. I love guys with long hair...hair long enough to run your hands through when you're making out. I mean a lot of girls don't but honestly the feel of silky hair between your fingers, against your skin when you're making out is like giving your fingers their own orgasms. Ricochet on the other hand has short hair and i mean majorly short hair. I don't even think he could make longer hair work.

Category 2: Eyes

I'm actually famous for being in love with colored eyes. A boy with blue eyes can wrap me around his pinky and I will be his slave. In all these years my compromise with this has been to fall for guys who have hazel eyes. As long as they don't look like my eyes, I'm mesmerized. But with Ricochet its different. He has these big chocolate brown eyes. They remind me of Robert Downey Jr.'s eyes. So big, so huge, full of soul and warmth. Yea I'm definitely loosing it.

Category 3: Height

Being someone short, most guys are taller than me and the taller they are the more I like it. It makes me feel secure and protected and that I can be picked up and held close but this guy is totally short. He's only a couple inches taller than me. In heels I can probably be as tall as him.

So these are my big three. Other than these, theres that I like lanky guys and he's ripped. I like guys with a dark conflicted side to match mine, but he's open and friendly with a light and glowing aura. He likes hip hop [:O:O:O horrifying I know] I like rock and trance. I mean what's going on. But here's the catch. He's PERFECT. He's got this amazing sense of humor. It makes me smile and laugh. And he has this way he looks at me, its like he's looking straight into my soul. It makes me freeze and i'm totally entrance. I can't look away. I really hope this works out I really really do hope so.

Please Meet Ricochet

2010-02-26T03:32:00.000-08:00

Dare I hope? It's like grade school all over again. This is a messed up game I'm playing, and specially when I swore to lay off this semester. So I've purposely never mentioned Ricochet [the hell?!?!] before cuz of the whole compounding theory (put it into writing and its really there). I mean at first it was just a crush of convenience [sounds better than scapegoat crush] for my BFG, the nosy bastards around me, for my Older Sis, and quite frankly for myself as well. They say the fastest way to stop thinking about someone is to start thinking about someone else. I was already over BFG but I just need something to make it stick and Ricochet just landed on my doorstep. Literally.
And true to my style, my crush of convenience is turning into something else. That's me, 100% predictable and never fails. Well this is slightly different. I'm actually cultivating this crush. I had to work to start crushing on this guy. Why? Well cuz he's totally marriage material, looks very very good on paper BUT he's smone I would never ever ever ever have considered before.
OOOO interesting!!! :D:D
Anyways...so Ricochet....potential? Hell yes! He is the only guy I've ever crushed on that is as different from my ideal as they can get. Lets compare and contrast [because I obviously don't have to study for this Anatomy quiz -_- and have all the time in the world........and 5 more minutes isn't gonna make a difference.... i hope]. So here we go:
Category 1: Appearance

lets go study now and finish this later

Words from 7am

2010-02-25T02:46:00.000-08:00

Furry Rabit always said that I am too trusting and I love too easily. And I always thought that meant I fall in love too easily and too quickly. But I think I finally understand. It's like the ending quote from Bride Wars:
"Sometimes in life there really are bonds formed that can never be broken. Sometimes you really can find that one person who will stand by you no matter what. Maybe you will find it in a spouse and celebrate it with your dream wedding. But theres also the chance that the one person you can count on for a lifetime, the one person who knows you sometimes better than you know yourself is the same person who’s been standing beside you all along."

It's not necessarily love I've been looking for. I mean yes, I do fall in love easily, but that person doesn't have to be a potential boyfriend or a crush that starts to mean more. It could simply mean with a friend. Its not often you get the chance to make a friend that could last a lifetime, a friend that you could fall in love with, not romantically, but friendship-ally. The same rules apply: trust, honor, love, and respect. I do hope this friendship lasts forever....and stays strong through our respective marriages, careers, and kids. Inshallah. And this leads me to my second point.
Big Friendly Giant was right. I don't belong to this world. Well at least not the part of the world I come from. God accidentally put my soul into a Hyderabadi girl's body in India. I'm straddling two worlds and trying to balance them. I'm too bold and open minded to fit into Indian society yet too naive and clueless to fit into the White world. I don't want to adopt either, but innocence can't be regained, an open mind can't be closed, and my life doesn't fit the normal parameters of an Indian hijabi. Therefore all I can say is God help me because one day this WILL blow up in my face... and then what will I do??

a difficult time

2010-02-08T19:57:00.000-08:00

why does this have to be so difficult. beegees just broke up and its eating him inside and i sit here hopelessly watching. i can't offer solace, i can't offer comfort, and i feel so helpless. seeing him so broken and so hurt. why why do bad things happen to good people. why do horrible people abuse the goodness in people? why why?? god i wish this wasn't so difficult. I wish this wasn't so hard for him and i sincerely wish I could make it all go away.
HAH!

i'm fucking one to talk. after what i did [people keep your iphones away from me if you have anything precious on them]. i don't deserve to offer comfort or give advice. i should shut up and mind my own business. but i can't when the friends i love are hurting. so i try. i try so hard and i fuck up. so now i'm gonna just sit here and let it eat away at me. and wait patiently and try to think of a way to make him happy.
i think its time to make a trip to the beach again. you can never come back from the beach angry or sad. o god please help him out. please make him feel better. he is a good person who doesn't deserve to be hurt. that bitch on the other hand...if you can make her miserable without making him miserable, i'm all for it.

We're a Sushi Roll

2010-02-08T12:32:00.001-08:00

Hmm this may become a habit. Lets not speak so soon. After all we just discovered I have the power of jinxing things.
The last week has been a challenge for me and my loved ones. One of us went through a break up, one of us made the other one cry, and the third's getting her heart wrenched in the name of love. Individually we're all miserable, though I should be modest because my misery may very well be a joke compared to the others'. But its this misery that's brought us together and bonded us. Sharing joy bonds people in the moment, but sharing sorrow bonds people for a period of time. I don't know how long this is going to last but I've become sadly codependent.

We've got a long long way together...through the hard times and the good...

2010-02-05T06:54:00.001-08:00

Lets talk about friendship.
Life is pretty interesting. You never know who you'll meet. In one of the episodes from How I Met You Mother Ted says to his future wife's roomate "I feel like our paths are meant to cross and I don't wanna miss out on getting to know you." I think that's what happened here with Guitar Hero and me. Our paths were meant to cross and they did and things got real bad for a while, but now I feel the reason behind all that heartache, drama, anger, and frustration has finally emerged. I guess we were meant to be good friends. Really really good friends. Most friendships aren't equally balanced. There is usually a compromise where one gives more than he/she gets. I feel my relationship with my Older Sis is sort of like that. At times I feel she's giving more and at times I feel I am. But this past week with Mr. Beanpole things have so generously fallen into place. It makes my heart happy. I used to feel we met because I needed someone last semester and now that I have my brother with me that acquaintance would come to an end. But like I said life and people are unpredictable. Despite all the craziness in both our worlds, we've not only managed to salvage a friendship I predicted was disappearing, we've managed to cement it. Now I want to say its one of those forever friendships, but I'm skeptical (as is my nature about friendships). On the other hand Mr. Rockband is seriously and 100% sure this is one of those forever friendships. And true to his world, he passed the ultimate test of friendship.
When a friend, specially a new one manages to destroy something precious there are two ways you can react. You can either destroy them or you can be the bigger man and just walk away. But in both scenarios the friendship is over. I managed to delete something so precious I deserved to be slapped. But Mr. Beanpole not only held his temper in check he gave me a second chance, holding no grudges or hatred in his heart. If anything this raises the bar of this relationship.
I can only hope I can meet the standards he's setting and rise beyond them. Some things in life are precious and I'm beginning to think this may be one of those things. God make me strong and help me be a better friend. Amen.

A Whole New World

2009-12-15T21:04:00.000-08:00

So reading my old post I can't believe the changes that have happen in two months. Well in a way there have been some changes, and in a way nothing has changed at all. So lets see whats different. Yes Mr. Beanpole and I are still friends, and no we're not anything more than friends, thank you God. Yes there was a time when I was pretty desperate about wanting there to be more to our relationship than just "good friends" but I'm not delusional anymore. I guess you could say it took me getting closer to realize that. Mr. Beanpole comes with a lot of expectations. To be at the end of Mr. Beanpole's intensity, wow (but then again if she's the one for him, it wouldn't seem like too much, right?). So I guess thats the main reason I'm perfectly happy where our relationship stands. Good friends. This gives me the liberty of sharing secrets and discussing personal things without the hesitation of checking my words or being scared about squishing toes. And most of all, and I think this is my favorite part, which I wouldn't trade even for a real relationship, is the benefit of yelling. It's absolutely-no-doubt-about-it-the-coolest part of this friendship. There are very few people who honestly understand and appreciate the way my brain works. Sometimes I think Beanpole has it all figured out and knows and understand my short tempers, my stubbornness, and then my guilt when i'm wrong, my thirst to impress, and my knack for being easily awed. He caters to them, allows me to yell when I lose my temper, lets me have my way when I'm stubborn, doesn't hold a grudge and equally quickly apologizes when he's wrong, appreciates me when I'm working hard at something (even if it's lame), and shows off so that I can cheer and praise. Funny how that works. A couple weeks ago he's said, when your brother first told me you were coming I thought now I can have a little sister. He was right, that's exactly who I want to be. But there's a catch. I don't want to hear one word about Ms. Bitchy-Princess. O god I hate her guts. I hate her so so much. And you'd probably say "Like duh, of course you'd hate HER!" But thats not true, I'd hate anyone who does this. Ask one of my best friends. I ripped her to shreds when she was being a bitch, but this woman takes the prize. She is such a loser that I'm actually impressed by her ability to fool everyone. When I first found out about Her Royal Bitchiness I thought the way to come to terms with my feelings is to first, respect the gravity of Beanpole's feelings, (which i do very much and which is actually why i discarded my feelings) and then two, get to know the lady love, see how awesome she is, see why she is so deserving of all this affection, and maybe become a good friend (cuz by my code, you don't crush on the guy your friend has feelings for). So thats exactly what I did, I went out of my way, opened up my mind, my heart, and my home to this woman. I told her yes, I did have feelings for your man (who isn't even actually her man), but yes I respect what he feels for u and I do think you should make him happy. I convinced her to spend more time with him, I convinced her to give him the attention he craves, and I convinced myself she's more deserving of his affections than me. BULL-FUCKING-SHIT. Under all that prim and proper crap she was ranting, is a very insecure self centered selfish person. And a cruel one at it too. Wow I've never seen anyone get so much pleasure from the misery of a another person. I was trying to be this person's friend and she was being a bitch. Well too bad. Your fucking loss woman, cuz I'm one helluva friend ;) :D:D
Neways so two months later, things are good I think. I'm far far away from Mr. Beanpole and his lady love. I'm ok with their convoluted nonsense relationship as long as it doesn't involve me or our friendship. I have another semester to go through with them, but thats ok, Mr. Beanpole has dropped several points in my respect when he willingly messed up his courses. I can't respect or admire someone like that, but I can be friends.
I think the lesson I've learnt is that I'm just a silly girl, desperate for companionship and nothing more. I don't need anything else if I can just get that. I don't want the burden of a relationship. I'm witness to too many, and its just too much work. They say its worth it, but I don't see it.
But then again, when it's the right guy, I guess I'll see it.

Giraffe

2009-10-07T16:03:00.000-07:00

So today I didn't my daily fix of Giraffe and I'm getting restless. I will be getting a hit tonight...if I'm lucky, which please God make me. So a couple nights ago, well lets say Saturday October 4th to be precise the world sorta kinda came crashing down when my darling Giraffe basically said yes dear I know u've got a crush on me, but I'm into smone else. At first I was just devastated. I was really deluding myself into thinking this guy was into me. But then barely after 12 hours, I got my act together (which btw I'm very impressed with, but then again I've known this guy what...3 weeks now??) and analyzed the situation. And this is my conclusion: there are two possible things that are happening here. Either 1) he doesn't realize what he wants, and he's telling himself he's into Ms. Contact-lens, and he's torn between a former crush who's warming up and someone new and fun and interesting (moi). Because honey he is showing all the sign of "o i'm into you". Or 2) he's a jerk. He's messing with my head because he's getting attention that his lady love isn't giving. I would love to say its scenerio uno, but honestly I don't know this person long enough or well enough to say 2 wouldn't happen at all. *sigh* regardless I'm in a lose-lose situation. Ms. Lady love is leaving by the end of the semester and a huge part of me is saying oooo lets be real good friends until then and then jump some bones in January. Then another part of me is going are u mental u stupid other part. The smart thing to do is play the game. Give a little, get a little, poor Giraffe doesn't even know he's being played. I'm sure because he's a "master of manipulation" he's doing some of his own game playing, but at the moment, so am I. Two can play the game.
Bah. Such drama. In all honesty I dont even know if I want a slightly immature, very good looking, hot, Giraffe for anything more than a friend. I mean except for the obvious exceptions I'm getting all that I want without the hassle of commitment or heartache. So why ask for more right? U know that actually makes sense. Hmm....I like that. Let see where this new revelation takes us.

Right Now

2009-09-21T21:15:00.001-07:00

So yea I suck at poetry and shit but I need to put this in writing. I am so confused about what's going on. I mean I don't know if my crush is fading out or what. This is weird and it's never happened before. I mean it might be the whole over-exposure thing. But whatever it is a part of me is relieved and happy that I won't be crazy anymore. That I won't hate every girl he talks to, that I won't get pissed every time he sits with someone who's not me. So this is a good thing. On the other hand I'm sad. I liked what it was, whatever it was. It made me feel special. I don't know what's going on now. There's a huge weird gap between us. I want to talk to him about so many things, but how? ARGH this is so frustrating. Maybe the answer is just going with the flow. My friend's right. It is way to early to feel anything. What's it been like what? Just two weeks? So maybe this is a good thing. If things go back to all being all attentive and aware when we're around each other then that means there is something there. If that doesn't happen, then quite simply it was a total physical thing. Which honestly wouldn't have been bad, but would never have stayed that simple. So here's a deep breath, and now we take each day at a time, a step at a time, even though my wild streak is rebelling against the chilled out attitude, that's how we're going to do things. For now.

Quote of the Day

2009-08-27T15:14:00.000-07:00

"you may have been acting a certain way, but that doesn’t mean you really are that way, or that you’ll stay that way forever. Behavior is temporary and changing. You can be whatever kind of person you want to be"

-Anonymous
(actually I know who it's by....I just have to remember their name)

Baby Blues - Jesse McCartney

2009-08-25T22:14:00.000-07:00

Yea ok im a sucker for a pretty boy. so sue me.
btw he co-wrote "bleeding love". impressive eh?

The words say it all

2009-08-25T22:02:00.000-07:00

I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

[Chorus:]
Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around, I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know

It's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

[Chorus]

This emptiness is killing me
And I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...been waiting here

[Chorus]

-"Just So You Know", Jesse McCartney

Quote of the day

2009-08-14T12:32:00.000-07:00

"No I don't."
"Yes you do."
"No. I. Don't."
"Yes. You. Do."
"Whatever."
"Denial is a powerful thing."
"So is my fist."

-Mathew-Haldeman Time

Legion - 1.22.10

2009-08-13T11:20:00.000-07:00

So I know what I'm watching in January.It's been a while since I've been so completely impressed by a trailer. The last time I was this mesmerized was when the trailer for 9 came out (releasing 09-09-09, aren't they clever). But getting back...WOW! I'm a big sucker for the whole angels/demons theme in general, but man an angel who's going against god, forsaking his "angel status" to help out humanity. It really doesn't get any better. By the end of season 4 the character Castiel from Supernatural was basically following a similar story line so I'm not too surprised, but the graphics on this trailer are just blowing me away. So here's to hoping this will be one kick ass movie.
You can watch the trailer here.

Don't hate me Fancy Radish

2009-08-08T22:21:00.000-07:00

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK fuck!
It's happening again. I'm doing it again. I'm going through withdrawal symptoms and I'm waiting for him online. WHAT. THE. HELL.
Its hormones.
That's right! It's that time of the month.
This is completely normal. By Wednesday I'll be fine again. I won't be on msn. Everything will be normal.
By Wednesday.
But right now I just want to talk to him, and see him, and spend time with him, and hold his hand, and tell him my secrets and insecurities, and hug him, and sit beside him while he drives, and listen to him sing, and study together with our shoulders touching, and share popcorn at the movies with him, and argue with him, and laugh at his stupid jokes, and...
O GOD 72 MORE HOURS!!!
72 hours!
Please come online tonight and msg me.

edit: omg I'm a fucking stalker. o god i'm losing my mind!

edit again: reading highly sensitive, romantic, vulnerable, and erotic stories is not helping.

Happy Music

2009-08-07T21:11:00.000-07:00

I always wonder what my wedding song will be, or what song I'd want a guy to play for me to symbolize us. I'm listening to Boyzone's 1999 album called By Request and I'm pretty sure I'd want it to be one of these songs. Some of these songs are such sweet love ballads in Ronan Keating powerful voice. They remind me of a time when I was kid and life was truly and honestly good and uncomplicated and I believed in prince charming on a white horse, in true love, and in happy endings. The person who will be mine forever will make me feel like that again.

edit: This album also reminds me of Grade 8 Math. I kicked ass because of this cassette.

I'll Never Not Need You
"I'll never not want you.. (never not care)
Never not need to always be there
No I'll never stop
Loving you the way that I do
No matter what you'll do
I'll never not want you sharing my life
Never not need to feel your touch at night
No there's one thing I'll never not do
I'll never not need you..
Never not need you baby"

Baby Can I Hold You Tonight
"But you can say baby
Baby can I hold you tonight
Maybe if I told you the right words
At the right time you'd be mine"

Love the Way You Love Me
"But I love the way you love me
Strong and wild, slow and easy
Heart and soul so completely
I love the way you love me"

Words
"talk in ever lasting words
and dedicate them all to me
and I will give you all my life
i'm here if you should call to me"

All That I Need
"You're the air that I breathe
Girl you're all that I need
And I wanna thank you, lady
You're the words that I read
You're the light that I see
And your love is all that I need"

Key to My Life
"All of my life the doors have been closed now
And all of my dreams have been locked up inside
But you came along and captured my heart, girl
You're the key to my life"

When You Say Nothing At All
"it's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
without saying a word you can light up the dark
try as i may i can never explain
what i hear when you don't say a thing
the smile on your face lets me know that you need me
there's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
the touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever i fall
you say it best when you say nothing at all "

All the Time In the World
"Cause I've got all the time in the world
All my life for you girl
Now the timin' is right, baby we got all night
Lay right here by my side, take your dreams for a ride
Love's like sand making pearls
And I've got all the time in the world"

No Matter
"I can't deny what I believe
I can't be what I'm not
I know I'll love forever
I know, no matter what"

Grown Up Teens

2009-08-06T22:23:00.001-07:00

So I'm talking to my friend Stephen (god I really kill these names). We've sorta been out of touch for a while. The last time we really talked was waaaaay back during fall last year when we were both tragically heartbroken by the love of our lives. Him, getting drunk every night to forget that the lady of his heart of three years slept with his best friend, and me, crying away my anger and general miserableness called Jethro. Yes Dramatic'R'Us. What can I say we were 22...barely mature teenagers.
So Stephen tells me that he broke up with his girlfriend and I'm like whoa whoa wait a sec what happened here? And apparently his lady love and him started dating and had a whole relationship thing going for a while and now they're broken up and moving on with their lives, though he wishes they weren't.
I was totally knocked off my feet. Wow. Life moves fast.
At this point, I couldn't help but compare our love lives. I'm nowhere with Jethro. We're inching towards the line that divides acquaintances and friends. In this past year we've had two major fights, actually three: October, January, and March, and barely 10 conversations in between, only half of which were civil.
But when it comes down to it, would I have preferred my life to have taken the route Stephen's did? ....I'm tempted to say yes because like Stephen I'm still desperate to have Jehtro in my life, in any shape or form. But if he came into my life, then I'd want him to stay. Forever. I don't think I'd be okay with something temporary. I also don't think I'd be able to take that kind of heartbreak again.
So I guess life happens in a certain way for a reason. It dishes out exactly how much the person can eat. No more, no less.
I think for the first time I'm actually happy with how slow this is taking.

Reservation Road

2009-08-05T21:11:00.000-07:00

Wow.
The thing that makes this movie special is that despite knowing exactly (and I mean exactly) how the movie is going to play out, it still got to me. I cried like a baby. I don't know if that's because of Joaquin Phoenix's performance, which was heart-wrenching, or because only a cold bastard wouldn't cry at the story, but whatever it was I was bawling. Mark Ruffolo didn't really do a good job, his character deserved much better, but Jennifer Connelly, Joaquin Phoenix, even Elle Fanning, were amazing.
I'd highly recommend the movie for the criers out there. It's not an amazingly original film, like I said, and it probably didn't win any awards (yea just checked it didn't), but its a sweet movie and a sad movie. Worth the watch on a boring, lonely night.

Joaquin Phoenix

2009-08-04T23:40:00.000-07:00

What can I say...I'm in love. Two nights ago at my aunt's place we sat down to watch The Village. I thought it was a horror movie, but turns out it was a thriller love story about a Ivy Walker and Lucius Hunt. Joaquin Phoenix plays Lucius Hunt, and I fell in love. I realize it was the character, but some character are written so well that you can't help yourself (this will be a separate post I promise). The first time I watched a performance by Joaquin Phoenix was a couple weeks ago, in Signs, as a protective uncle and a loyal younger brother. I liked him, but its hard to notice someone else when the screen's dominated by Mel Gibson and aliens. So two nights ago my memory was refreshed and I can't get enough of him. His dark hair and features, his straight nose, and his brilliant green eyes behind which hide a million mysteries. He's not super tall, but with his scar and intensity I feel he embodies the phrase "tall, dark and mysterious". The minute we came home from my aunt's I downloaded and watched Quills and Ladder 49. Phoenix's portrayal of Abbe is impeccable as the valiant defender of right, the miserable lover and then the tortured soul. In Ladder 49 he's a brave fireman that has boundless generosity. Each role so dramatically different yet done to perfection and with such grace. The viewer is left entranced by the intense green gaze. I'm going to watch Two Lover and Reservation Road tonight, and by tomorrow I'll complete my Phoenix-mania with Walk the Line, We Own the Night, and It's All About Love.
I'll have more pictures then ;)
It's a pity he quit movies. I would have watched anything he did.

Today in a happy nutshell

2009-07-30T22:29:00.000-07:00

I love this blog. It allows me to portray my life as I want. For example I haven't once mentioned the 5 hours nightmare I went through today. I can just pretend it never happened. Voila!
So I'm sitting here at 2:00 in the night, yawning, listening to Deadmau5 feat. Kaskade - I Remember (Original Vocal Mix), and wearing my new cap from H&M in a way that I've been inspired by Watts (from Some Kind of Wonderful) with my hair piled in (I'm trying to master the take-off-hat-shake-out-hair-technique). And life is good. Not having to answer to anyone, doing exactly as I want, which starting tomorrow is going to be a whole lot of laundry, vacuuming, and cleaning washrooms. The rest of my room and some of my house looks a lot like my desk.But life is still good.
I'm happy.

WHAT THE HELL!

2009-07-29T17:12:00.000-07:00

On Dailymail.co.uk I came across an interesting article, "Christian Sudanese woman facing 40 lashes for wearing trousers". I can't believe that there are still countries out there that are so backward. I hate how the law is in the name of religion because that's complete bullshit. The lady is more than mosdestly dressed, which is what the religion promotes. My prayers and support go out to Lubna Ahmed al-Hussein for standing up and bringing this injustice to light.

Tuck Everlasting (2002)

2009-07-28T21:43:00.000-07:00

So I just watched the ending of Tuck Everlasting. My sister bugged me to watch it back when it first came out, but I hadn't. So she told me the whole story and I nodded along and pushed it outta my mind. Until a few days ago when I was going through my "tragic romance" period and I downloaded it.
OMG what a load of bullshit!!! Why the hell did the woman not drink from the damn spring. WHYYYYYYYYYYYY? I mean practically speaking I get why, BUT ITS A DAMN DISNEY MOVIE!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO HAPPY ENDINGS?!?!?!?!
I didn't watch the whole movie. I skipped around, only making sure I got every Jesse and Winnie (Winnie the Pooh?) moment. But the ending makes no sense! Whatever. Stupid Disney movie. They shoulda thrown in a granddaughter or something in the end. Jeez.
Aside: Alexis Bledel and Johnathan Jackson made a very adorable couple.

More New Moon Figurines

2009-07-28T16:58:00.001-07:00

O surprise.
More figurines.
I like the shirtless Jacob Black. They need to make a shirtless Edward.

Backstreet Boys "This is Us"

2009-07-28T16:29:00.001-07:00

WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Backstreet Boys is releasing a new album October 6th called This Is Us. The album will be their 7th studio album as a group and their 2nd without Kevin Richardson. *tear* The first single from the album, "Straight Through My Heart" is already all over the net. You can listen to it here, and the rest of the album is up on torrents. I really like the single, and I'll get back to you about the album (which I will probably love).
Backstreet Boys will always be one of my all time favorite bands. Millennium was the first album I memorized from first track to last and the trend hasn't stopped I can sing Black and Blue, Never Gone, and Unbreakable similarly.
They will also be touring NA early next year. The dates haven't been released yet, but I'm praying and praying that I'll be able to catch a show.
*crossed fingers*

Baby Blues: Andrew Stetson

2009-07-28T15:59:00.000-07:00

As promised. Meet Andrew Stetson, former carpenter, current model, hotness, and gift to womankind. I don't know much about him, like I said we just met. But you can always google his info if your interested.

Btw you might recognize him as the model in the throes of passion in the commercial for Calvin Klein Euphoria fragrance for men.

Dogs Dogs Dogs

2009-07-28T15:48:00.000-07:00

I was totally gonna title this post as "who let the dogs out" but even I had to cringe at that.
So dogs. Let me tell you I'm not a big fan. No surprise there, but the truth is I used to love dogs. I truly believe they listen to you. Ok I'm not 4 and believe they can understand what your saying, but I believe tone, voice inflection, and confidence goes a long way in how you interact with a dog. But all that goes out the door when you find yourself being chased by a golden retriever with menacing teeth. But that's a story for another day.
So if I could have a dog, what dog would I want?
A Yorkie. Hands down. No question. They are they most adorable dogs on this planet earth.
And to add to that, I'd want a tea cup Yorkie.
They easily out rank kittens, chicks, baby camels, pygmy hippos, and little baby turtles.
Ok maybe not baby turtles, but you see what I mean rite?

Brothers & Sisters

2009-07-28T14:57:00.001-07:00

Ok so after my bout of depression with weird ranting and writing, I'm feeling much much better. Good enough infact to appreciate some very interesting specimens of the male species, which I will be putting up later :D
Actually I owe the boost in my mood partly to letting it all out and party to the last 8 episodes of Brothers & Sisters, season 3. I love that show. I discovered it belatedly but god bless the torrent master "eztv". Thanks to him I'm late and not never.
Actually the real person to be thanking is my cousin who introduced me to Kevin and Scotty. Their scenes are meticulously cropped and organized on YouTube for the viewing benefit of people like me. Never one for dramatic soaps, I categorized Brothers & Sisters as one and only watch Kevin and Scotty's adorable story arc for a year before I finally realized I was enjoying watching the siblings' interaction with each other more than Kevin's interaction with Scotty. And then of course Luke Grimes joined the show as Ryan Lafferty, and ever the sucker for a pretty face, with Rob Lowe (Robert McCallister) and Dave Annable (Justin Walker), I finally gave in and started downloading the episodes.
I will never regret it. If you can believe it and pretend it's not a total cliche, I've actually learnt something from this show. A family is a bunch of dramatically different people who have come together unapologetically with no censorship between them and no love lost. Even the worst fights can be forgiven, even the stupidest decision can be forgiven, and the biggest mistakes can be fixed because in the end we're family. We stick together. That's one bond you just can't make or break and with it should come unconditional love, unconditional understanding, and unconditional forgiveness.
....yes I do cry everytime it gets even slightly sentimental.
But that's not the point :P
Ps. I won't feel right until I've mentioned the brilliant cast that makes this show amazing: Calista Flockhart (as Kitty Walker), Balthazar Getty (as Tommy Walker), Rachel Griffiths (as Sarah Walker), Dave Annable (Justin Walker), Matthew Rhys (as Kevin Walker), and Sally Fields (as Nora Walker). The list goes on, but these are the Walkers.

Chapter XVI

2009-07-26T18:39:00.001-07:00

I thought well why not? We're on a roll here. Lets keep going.
I once said I don't believe in love to someone. He laughed in my face.
I don't blame him. It's really hard to buy that line if you think you know me, and that's almost everyone on this planet. People make the assumption when they meet me that they know who I am. That's ok. I'm obviously stereotypical. I exhibit all the traits of a happy person. I smile I laugh I dance I cheer I flirt I listen I talk I mingle I chat I visit I call I text. You can't picture me angry or yelling or cussing or punching or slapping or bitching or hitting or breaking or hurting or suicidal. Most people don't associate me with weird behavior. Even when sometimes it slips through they laugh and say wow that was weird. And I apologize profusely and quickly mend the hole before they see more.
It is a facade. One I built about 7 years ago. When I first moved. I needed to be the perfect person. The best that I could be. The person that everyone would love and would want to be friends with. I would not allow what happened back in middle school and early high school to happen again. Period.
Since then I've added to my wall. Three years ago I discovered what a load of bullshit love was and last year I discovered that friendship is only a word. It was like adding cement and barbed wire to my brick wall. And that's the me people know. A person behind fencing, concrete and bricks. I can count the people who have glimpsed behind the wall on one hand.
I have no delusions. I know exactly who I am. I just don't think other people do. Nor do they understand the lengths to which I go to stop them from seeing who I am. Of the handful of people no two can say they've seen the same thing. I keep it that way. I want it that way.
And now its time to build a new wall.

Life's screw up

2009-07-26T17:27:00.000-07:00

So I know I'm not in a very pretty place right now. And I'm trying my best to avoid writing because I know only misery is going to pour out. But I need to get away and seeking solace in the vacant depths of my fastatical get-aways is not helping. My beach house, country manor, and high rise condo's have been inhabited. Crowded by ignored insecurities and secrets vying for space and shelter until they are summoned once again.
It's like when you're trying to get away from the pressing crowd in need of air and you find yourself in the middle of a dark alley. You've left the crowded chaos behind, you are finally alone to breath and there is a calm silence here. But it begins to prick the hair on your arms, your ears are ringing and in the emptiness now there are shadows. Reaching out, beckoning to you and saying, "come to me. I'll make the monster go away". Except the monster doesn't leave. It only gets replaced by another one. One you haven't seen in a long long time. One that you pretended you slayed that sunny day when you were laughing with your friends. Sorry. It didn't die. You didn't tell anyone that it only put its head down and retreated into the shadows. It's eyes knowing that there will be a time when you will meet again. Till then it rests and feeds, growing on wayward thoughts, plotting and planning. Patiently waiting for you to lose your way and stumble upon it one gloomy day when the sun is forgotten and the friends have left. And this time it is not alone. It's made friends. The other monsters you'd left injured and bleeding to die. Other defeated monster that waited till you walked away triumph, smiling behind your back at their wounds knowing that their time will come too.
What do you do when all these monsters now know your secret retreats? What do you do when they know that you turn to the beach house because you are alone, and they've station the monsters Reject, Loner, Outcast, Unwanted, and Ignored behind each door. At your country study manor, they snuck in Loser, Flunkie, Drop-Out, and Disappointment. And at the party penthouse they have Ugly, Dull, Boring, and Tolerated.
At this point I usually grab my ipod, download movies, go for a walk, or just sleep. But there is no escape left. The army of monsters have enough troops to split up and send around. Their forces powerful and in many numbers.
It's getting easier and easier to understand the lure of a bottle or the playfulness of a drug. The warmth of a stranger and the emptiness of a coma. I no longer want to get away. I need to get away. Get away and get out. Far away. Away from reminders and people and comfort and love and the loathed word friendship. Because all these are temporary. Umbrellas that last only so long, only to be replaced by a new ones. I need to go. To a place where there is no need for umbrellas. Where there is only me and vast empty land. A barren field with no dark corners or crevices. With no happy sunshine and darling friends or caring family. Where it is only me.
Standing strong and solitary in an endless ocean. Alone.
That's where I'll be safe.

GODDAMMIT

2009-07-25T21:48:00.000-07:00

ok im too emotionally distraught to write anything so i'm just going to make a list of all the movies i've gotta review...soon:
-Harry Potter 6 (2009)
-A Walk to Remember (2002)
-Keith (2008)
-A Love Story (1970)
-Some Kind of Wonderful (1987)
-The Promise (1979)
-Dedication (2007)
and there will be more!

Dark Knight - the novel

2009-07-22T13:28:00.000-07:00

Ok hear me out before you go "waaaat?" so I love the movie. And I've seen it a million times. But as we all know a movie is never the replica of the book and a book is never the replica of the movie (I challenge you to stay awake while reading LORT).
So...I checked out The Dark Knight. Its a novel written by Dennis O'Neil, and despite the line on the cover that says "based on the Warner Bros. Pictures film" the way the book is written, it looks like it came out first...I think...whatever.
So the question is why read the book when you've watched the movie so many times? Well I was kind of hoping it would be the sequel to the other Batman novel I mentioned earlier, Knightfall. But after reading the first three pages I don't think so. The books starts of with Bruce Wayne dreaming of how he killed Ra's al-Ghul, which basically is the end of Batman Begins. So now I'm super confused and stuck with the wrong book.
But God bless Wikipedia. Apparently Dennis O'Neil wrote them out of order, Knightfall in 1994, Batman Begins in 2005, and Dark Knight in 2008. Whereas the Knightfall story arc occurs during the tenth or eleventh year of Batman's career, while Batman Begins is how it all started, and Dark Knight is what follows. So what I'm holding my hands is a super-super-sequel.
But that's cool, I can't put the book down anyways. Within a few minutes of starting it, I'm totally emmersed in it and O'Neil's brilliant writing bring Gotham to life.
I think I'm gonna go ahead and buy all three books.
But what happened between year one, year two, and year ten/eleven?

Aaron Carter?!?!!?

2009-07-21T09:53:00.001-07:00

So this is random and I dunno what led up to it....actually I do know what led up to it.
Ipod --> Backstreet Boys --> YouTube --> Nick Carter --> Aaron Carter
So one thing led to another and I googled Aaron Carter. I mean the last I remember of the kid was his video Crush On You where he looked something like this:
And then his video Do You Remember where I was like wow that's a mini-Nick Carter singing and dancing.
And now he looks like this:

*jaw drops*
*eyes widen*
What happened?!?!?!
Thank god Nick Carter aged better.
Lol

Recap

2009-07-21T08:58:00.000-07:00

wow so nine days huh? ok so lets run an update:
Mom finally left. I actually blame not blogging totally on her. I've been so busy running around with her shopping, packing, going to the clinic, and taking papers to Toronto that I really didn't have time for anything else. Plus I tried to spend every spare moment I had with her. She's going to be back August 25th-ish and then Medschool starts September 3rd. That gives me barely nine days with her and my lil brother, so yea I think I made the right call. But now its just my lil sister and me so I have no excuse. Man I'm so trying to rein myself in. Usually when its just us here, I go crazy shopping and partying with my friends. But its different now. I can't ditch my lil sister and go anywhere and she's got summer school so anything I plan I've got to work around that. I think I should listen to the little voice in my head and rest on my haunches till August 1st.....and then go crazy.
I have a sleepover to plan. It's tradition. Everytime my parents leave we have a movie night and a sleepover. The last one was waaaaay too long back. Plus I'm dying to catch up with all my friends. Feels like its been ages.
I've also gotta clean up the house. It looks like a hurricane attacked my place. But I'm debating wether I should do that now or first switch the rooms. Makes sense since thats going to mess up everything neways. I'm moving into my lil brother's room and he'll be moving into mine. My room's bigger and closer to my mom's room. Makes more sense now that I'll just be a visitor at my place.
I've also been watching movies like crazy. I finally watched Tropic Thunder!!! yey!!! I love Robert Downey Jr. in it and every's done such an amazing job. From Tom Cruise to Jack Black and honestly hats off to Ben Stiller. That was brilliant directing. The movie could have gone really really wrong with editing but it was brilliant.
I also watched Pineapple Express again and I loved it even more the second time around and specially after watching The Hangover. I liked The Hangover it was hilarious, but I hated the fact that there were so many crude subliminal messages like its ok to drink and drive, make fun of fat people, treat baby like shit cuz they won't remember anyways, and omg so many more things. I was watching the movie with my sister, who's 17 but I was still cringing. In comparison Pineapple Express is all about drugs, but its the lesser of the two evils and James Franco is unbelievably cute in the movie.
We also watch 1/2 of Max Payne before we fell asleep. Though I love Mark Wahlberg (and the very very cool valkyrie), this is his the second movie I fell asleep in the middle of. Shooter was pretty damn slow too. And talking about slow, I attemped to watch 21. OMG what a drag. The movie just stubbornly refused to pick up! I gave up on that one too.
So that was my exciting life for the past few days. I've gotta go make some lunch before my sister's home. Now that my Mom's gone we're going to have a steady diet of pasta.

Four Brothers

2009-07-13T21:42:00.000-07:00

I don't know what it is about this movie. It just gets me every time. The Four Brothers are Mark Wahlberg, Tyrese Gibson, Andre Benjamin, and Garrett Hedlund. Its an unusual bunch but they make it work. Brilliant casting. You can watch the trailer here, but the tagline says it all.

I downloaded this movie back when Bhai and I were brand new fans of Mark Wahlberg and Tyrese Gibson. I didn't really expect a good movie, but I was blown away. Since then every few months I'll pull it out, watch it, cry over it, and come away feeling fiercely loyal to my family. That's what makes a movie for me.

By the way, Garrett Hedlund deserves special mention. His portrayal of Jack Mercer pulls the rug out from under my feet everytime.

I refuse to call them dolls...they're FIGURINES

2009-07-12T22:29:00.000-07:00

Le sigh.
Tonner just released a new Twilight Doll that will be found exculsively at the San Diego Comic-Con. Its called the "hungry" Edward Cullen doll. This is not the first "Twilight doll" that has been released. There have been several by Tonner, TFAW.com, Barbie, NECA, and..............that's all I could remember.

I'm not going to say I'm doll crazy because that implies I play with them. Let's make this clear.
I don't.
But I love collecting them and therefore they are figurines. NOT DOLLS.
I'm still a noob at this. I haven't been collecting long and I'm very stingy with my cash so it cripples my collection, but I'm happy with it so far. Here's a picture below.I'm actually waiting to get my hands on some Star Trek, Terminator, and Treasure Planet figurines. The first two are in Walmart, but I really haven't had the chance to buy them. Treasure Planet figurines are a whole different story. I'll have to order them online and they're super rare.

Ewan McGregor's Voice

2009-07-10T19:17:00.001-07:00

I watched Angels and Demons a couple of days ago. Actually it was quite a while ago and I was totally blown away. I didn't want to watch it, but I was forced into it and for that I will be eternally grateful to my lovely friend. But that's not the point.

Through the whole movie, I was charmed outta my wits by Ewan McGregor's bewitching Irish accent. I think I paid more attention to how he said his lines, than what he said. Later, I went on YouTube hoping and hoping the accent was real, but sadly it was just for the movie. HOWEVER theres a good side to this story. His real accent is Scottish, and ITS ADORABLE!!! I think I'm in love.

I'm totally mesmerized and I think I've just become a fan. I don't want to offend my love, Cillian Murphy, who has the most gorgeously captivating and enthralling Irish accent (among his many other assets), but I am quite taken.

Now I have a second reason to watch the Star Wars movies.

Ps: He looks like he could be in Boyzone or Westlife. Yea?

I NEED ME A PYGMY JERBOA

2009-07-09T19:41:00.000-07:00

I just came across the cutest thing on the planet. A pygmy jerboa is a rodent found in western Pakistan. It's the closest thing to a Pygmy Puff (from Harry Potter) AND I WANT ONEEEE!!!!

There a short video here of one in action if your curious.

Intense Chocolate: Milo Ventimiglia

2009-07-09T18:41:00.000-07:00

Drifting slightly from my "baby blues" obsession is my "intense chocolate" obsession.
I love brown eyes. They draw me in. They're intense, captivating, and take your breath away because they tell you every emotion. They're soulful and you feel like you're drowning in them.
You'll understand when you check out the pictures.

Yes, I have an eye-color fixation.
Yes, I'll probably need some therapy.
But back on topic:

I hadn't heard about Milo Ventimiglia until Heroes, and it was truly my pleasure when he first graced my laptop screen. The man is a scrawny little guy but can pull off "tough and badass", "intense and brooding", "lost and victimized", and "you know you love me ladies" with such suave. He has a crooked smile because of dead nerves in his lower left lip, but that doesn't matter. His smile lights up his face. For a quick introduction, you can watch him smoke up the screen in Fergie's video "Big Girls Don't Cry".
Enjoy. Do these pictures make my point, or do these pictures make my point?

Books Comics Mangas Ebooks

2009-07-09T17:12:00.000-07:00

So its been what...4 days since I blogged? I've been busy, but wow that's a lot of days.

So a lot's been happening. I've begun studying for the MCAT for one. I'm going to write it the 5th of August. Joy. I also got two interview calls. I have an interview tomorrow at Toys Toys Toys and then another one Saturday morning at Voluptuous, both at Square One. I really need the cash, which is why I'm hoping Mom'll take off sometime next week so I can work and she won't need to know

God parents. You love them but they need to learn to let go. Dad's planning a reunion in India that I'm dead set against. It makes no freaking sense. It's $2,000 to fly to India and thats only TO to HYD and back. It's a shitload more for Mom and my lil bro who'd go TO to JED to HYD to TO and then to US to ARU for my mom. It's crazy but logic has never been my mother, my father or my strongest suits. We work with out hearts and not our minds. And then ALWAYS regret it.

Neways, in the middle of all this mess, I quit reading the Dalriada Trilogy, it was taking too much patience and brain power. So I downloaded and am rereading the Clayborne of Rosehill series by Julie Garwood. I'm trying to get Fabulous Record hooked on it, but I'm not too hopeful. Romance runs in my blood but it doesnt have to appeal to everyone. But one can still hope....
I'm also dying to read the second part of Daniel O'Neil Batman: Knightfall. I read the first one and despite Fairy Rake's belief that I'm only hooked onto Batman because of Jethro, I'm really into it. It's called the Dark Knight and its easier to read a novel than comics anyways.
I should be clearer. Comics I don't enjoy reading, I tried Batman, Superman, and even Sin City. I don't know what it is but I think its the art that I don't like. Mangas on the other hand I LOVEEEEEEEEE!!!! The art is so luxurious (for a lack of a better word) and it seems to flow. Not that I like every Mangaka's art, I'm very very picky, which is why I sorta bossed Funky Rope into buying me Svetlana Chmakova's Dramacon the Ultimate Edition. I love the way Chmakova not just draws but illustrates. The way she makes her characters come to life. I can just flip through the manga all day. There are so many subliminal details that you miss the first time that just make you laugh harder when you find them. AAAAAAAAAAh!!! I can't wait to get my hands on it!!
And people. Don't judge. Try mangas and then roll your eyes.

Words from the heart

2009-07-05T14:50:00.000-07:00

So I was reading some fiction on the net by Mathew Haldeman-Time. And though his taste in genre might not be to everyone's liking, he's an extremely traditional romantic author and I'm a big sap so I love his work. All of it. I've read it several times. But that's not the point. The point is that I was reading one of his stories and I came across the following quotes. It's pretty a self explanatory conversation between two people, but it just froze me for a second because I finally know how to describe what I'm feeling towards Jethro.

“I miss him,” he said. “He used to be - - he always talked to me. He really cared about me. We were tight. And now, I don’t know who he is. I don’t know how he’s going to talk to me. I don’t really want to know. If he’s different, that’ll fuck me up, because that means he was faking everything before. If he’s the same, that’ll fuck me up, because I won’t know if that’s even real.”

“No matter what happens, you won’t trust what you guys used to have.”

"Yeah."

First Twilight Paraphernalia

2009-07-03T15:55:00.000-07:00

We went to square one today and at Walmart I found this:I sorta begged and pleaded but I finally got it!!! It cost $10.49 (without the tax) but its worth it (I hate spending money on magazines). The posters are amazing and of the 7, 5 are of Robert Pattinson (bless the magazine editors), and of the 30ish full page pictures, he's on 15 of them.
I'm not ripping out anything until I get to Aruba. I'm going to cover my walls in posters. My parents never allowed me here, but there............what they don't know won't hurt them. hehe

Now that I think about it, surprisingly, this is my first Twilight paraphernalia. :|

A night of home fun

2009-07-02T15:56:00.001-07:00

So my cousin came over last night (well actually we sorta kidnapped her and my aunt). We spent the night watching fireworks, catching up, and watching movies until 6am the next morning.
Its weird, the bond my cousin and I have. We're not friends but we're more than just relatives. I've never been able to explain it to anyone. We've known each other from the time we were kids (she's only 3 months younger than me). We've grown up together, discovered books, boys, and music together, been through thick and thin, through major fights and through long distance. In my own way I love her, and I know she'll always be there for me. She's knows practically everything about me and she's been my wall of stone for more times than I can remember. I hope we stay the way we are, and last through everything else that's gonna come our way.

Oooooooookay so what did we watch? First we saw Doom. I grew up playing Doom 2, and though I never played Doom 3, which is what this movies is based on, my brothers did and stuff like that always rubs off. I'm also a HUGE Rock fan. My brothers, my Dad, and I used to watch WWE (or WWF as it was called back then) and the Rock was the man! I quit when he sort off turned to movies around 2001, and WWE never really held the same appeal for me, even though Shawn Michaels came back. But back to the movie. I liked it. There was action, a lot of macho-ness, people dying....reminded me of Aliens 2, in a vague way. I was surprised with the twist at the end where the Rock switches teams but I was blown away by the 10 mins where Reaper (Karl Urban) wakes up as a superhuman and the movie switches from standard camera angle to first-person shooter perspective!!! I think that was very very well done. It's not a movie I'd care to watch a second time, but those 10 minutes I'll probably chop out and keep.

After that we watched the Haunting in Connecticut. People've said so much shit about this movie that I was expecting garbage, but instead I got a decent horror flick. Both of us were awake through the whole thing and scared shitless (but that might be cuz we're easily scared). The story was a little slow, but it was fine. The actors did a good job for such a small budget film. The graphics were good, the editing was good, all in all I think if you want a decent scare it'd be the movie to watch.

Transformers II: Revenge of the Fallen [B-]

2009-06-30T16:27:00.000-07:00

Michael Bay should fire the editors. It was like watching the extended version of Independence Day or LOTR: Return of the King. You patiently wait through the parts that were never suppose to be in the movie in the first place. When its on the net, I'm going to download the movie, cut out nearly 40mins of it and then proclaim it a masterpiece, because honestly it is. I went and watched it on the big screen to see the CGI and I have no complaints. The Transformers blew me away. They were amazing and I would go see it again for them.
There was a lot more Megatron and Optimus Prime screen time. Loved that. And since we've all seen the trailers, its not a surprise that we were introduced to a whole new bunch of Transformers, who were cooler, more bad ass, and exactly what I wanted from this movie.

Shia LaBeouf can do no wrong in my books. I love the guy. He makes a movie experience fun, puts in all 110% of himself into the role. I didn't like Megan Fox in the first one because she was eye candy and a sex symbol. That hasn't changed, but her role's meatier and she's wearing more clothing (with the exception of her opening scene).
People might complain about the plot line, but it was complete, with no gaping loopholes. They had a conflict introduced at the beginning of the movie and it was solved by the end of it, with a big bang climax. What else do you need from a popcorn movie??
The language could stand to be cleaned up. I enjoy swearing as much as the next person but it was ill timed and grating on the nerves. When the DVD comes out, I hope it comes with a condensed version.

*SPOILER ALERT*-------------------------------------------------------------
To make this movie better: take out all but the Egypt scenes of Mrs. and Mr. Witwicky, take out roomate Leo (Ramon Rodriguez), take out dogs humping, take out hostage robot humping, take out Alice (Isabel Lucas) trying to seduce Sam scenes, leave the one where she's kicking ass, take out Agent Simmons (John Torturro) feeble attempts at humor, and take out random comic relief scenes during intense moments
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Final Statement: Would I recommend watching it? Yes.

What on earth!!!!

2009-06-29T19:07:00.000-07:00

Okay, this is taking it too far.
The make-up I get. I mean why not, "make hay while the sun shines", but SAT prep...really?!?!
Taken from Amazon.com:

Can you resist the allure of Edward’s myriad charms—his ocher eyes and tousled hair, the cadence of his speech, his chiseled alabaster skin, and his gratuitous charm? Will you hunt surreptitiously and tolerate the ceaseless deluge in Forks to evade the sun and uphold the facade? Join Edward and Bella as you learn more than 600 vocabulary words to improve your score on the *SAT, ACT^®, GED^®, and SSAT^® exams!

Use this workbook side-by-side with your own copy of Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight!

• Each chapter of the workbook gives you eight words taken from Twilight, with page references for you to read the words in the context of your favorite novel

• Define the words on your own before turning back to the workbook for their actual definitions

• At the end of each section you’ll take SAT, ACT, GED, and SSAT drills and quizzes to review and integrate what you’ve learned

• Plus, you’ll learn synonyms, Latin word parts, and memorization tools throughout the workbook

The poor bastards are going to fail the exam!

Sloooow day

2009-06-29T13:45:00.000-07:00

Its pouring outside and theres no sun. The day seems slow and listening to the album How To Save a Life by The Fray, just adds to it.
I woke up at noon today which is quite an accomplishment and had a heavy breakfast (yuck) which just made me sluggish again. Now its 5pm and I don't know how the rest of the day is gonna go by.
My thoughts weigh down heavy on me and feel like a burden. There's so much to do but I want to sit in bed all day and stare out the window.
The phone doesn't ring and no one on msn messages. What am I waiting for? I don't know but I'm waiting. My heart is restless and flutters like a humming bird, listing all the things to be done, but I don't know where to start.
Maybe for right now I'll just work on finishing the book I was reading The Dawn Stag by Jules Watson, and pretend there's nothing that needs to be done.
Procrastination comes easy.

Baby Blues: JC Chasez

2009-06-29T13:12:00.000-07:00

JC Chasez. I miss him. He doesn't get nearly as much spotlight time as he deserves. Our loss.
I like him with longer hair but the 2nd picture is too unique not to put up. I'll be the first to admit his nose is big but his eyes are amazing as is his voice. I love his album Schizophrenic: "All day long I dream", "Some girls", and "She got me".

The Night of the 28th

2009-06-28T23:39:00.000-07:00

Last night was fun. It was Ms. Wiseone's birthday and the perfect excuse to catch up with all my friends. Many of whom I hadn't seen since March. Dinner at Zanobia sucked for me (of the 9 of us, two hated the food :S), and though the waitress was amazing, everything took too long, the food, the drinks, the sheesha, the bill. I will never go back for their chicken shawarma, but the ambiance was amazing and I loved doing sheesha. It is slowly turning into one of my favorite things to do. So much less nasty than smoking.

Before the dinner yesterday I had a talk with Ms. Wiseone where she was telling me I should let everyone know that I'm leaving and stop holding it back. I didn't want to take away from her night, but when I was asked I told two of my other friends after dinner. And oddly enough, though it hadn't hit me yet, after talking to them about moving away, I spent the whole night dreaming about it. I really thought I was ready for it and would handle it calmly. Doesnt seem that way anymore. I spend the night dividing up my things into what to take and what not to. Whether I should pack the rest of my shit up or leave it.
One thing's for sure though I'll be moving into my lil brother's room and he'll be moving into mine. My room is bigger and right next to my Mom's room. It'd make more sense.

Wow. The panic is begining to surface.

Updates

2009-06-27T22:40:00.000-07:00

I've been seriously falling behind on my blogging. I blame it on Mom. The minute she sees me with either Brian or Taylor (laptop, cellphone) she vows to kill it. It was just today that I was at a seriously boring wedding (boring because we were super early at a Brown wedding, it got better two hours into the party) and so I excused myself, went to the washroom, and called a friend to kill time. 20 minutes later my Mom calls me and whispers furiously, "Where the hell are you? It's been 20 minutes! What are you doing in the washroom for so long?!" I hurried back to our table but she took one look at me, opened my purse, took out my cellphone, and turned it off. "That's the last time your bringing your phone to a party."
So now I'm forced to wait until she's preoccupied or asleep and then blog under my blanket where the light from my laptop can't be seen in the dark. It's hot under here.

Tomorrow's Ms. Wiseone's birthday. We're going out to dinner at Zanobia to celebrate. I seriously love that girl and though we've sorta been outta touch since April, she'll always be someone who's opinion and advice I will respect and take to heart. The woman has a brilliant head on her shoulders, a big heart, and she's a force to be reckoned with. I admire, love, and respect that about her, and I hope the next year brings her only joy and happiness and may all her hopes and dreams come true. Amen.

Another important announcement to make is regarding a post I'd written a couple days ago, which I didn't publish, but will now to make this announcement more logical. I've made a decision to cease all contact with Jethro. Yes I know I made such a big deal about finally getting back to civil conversation with him, but the thing is, I was losing it once more. Earlier I was only kidding about going back to IT but in reality it was really happening (eg the photograph). I can't seem to look at him simply as a friend, and I guess I will always want more. This in turn will always lead to so much shit which after these past 10 months I'm not willing to go through all over again.
So...I've come to probably the wisest decision I'll ever make and that is to cut off all ties. I've left the responsibility of explaining to Jethro why I've disappear (if he cares) to my Friendly Rhino, but other than that, this is it. I'm blocking and deleting him on msn and my phone (though it's pointless cuz I have his number memorized).
The only issue left would be what to do if he texts me, cuz I know he won't call, and my answer is that I'll just answer his question and add "sorry I can't really talk now". I don't want this to be a whole dramatic episode so I'm going to try to play it as laid back as possible which won't be easy. But then again I faded out of his life once. I can do it again.

Oh one final thing. I did wear the gladiator sandals again and they didn't bite!!! Hehehe!!!

Michael Jackson: The Death of Peter Pan

2009-06-26T19:57:00.000-07:00

The King of Pop passed away June 25th 2009, at the young age of 50.
My whole generation grew up to Michael Jackson's Thriller album. He taught us to love pop with his fast beats, catchy tunes, and addictive melodies. He introduced us to the world of dancing. His fluid movements guided by a rhythm that flowed through his body, he glided on air and mesmerizes us still, decades later, with his "moonwalk".
My prayers go out to his devastated family, especially his children.

Here I want to remember his songs that are dear to me (in no particular order).
"Thiller" - The first song I ever heard.
"Billie Jean"
"Heal the World" - The first song I wrote the lyrics down to.
"Beat it"
"Bad"
"Way you make me feel"
"You rock my world"
"Dangerous"
"Smooth criminal"
"Do you remember"
"Wanna be starting something"
"Black and White"
I WOULD LIKE TO ADD: I don't really care much for the people saying his death is a blessing. Our relationship with the man was through his music. Not his personal life.
So fuck off.

*title taken from www.time.com

Baby Blues: Chace Crawford

2009-06-24T22:41:00.000-07:00

i'm starting a new tradition. as i feel inspired i shall dedicate an entire post to a special dude
but because my exam's in 7 hours i'm just gonna put up his picture for right now and add the blurb later
enjoy

FINE!!! I GIVE IN

2009-06-24T19:37:00.000-07:00

So my Friendly Raptor hates it when I talk about Twilight but its bubbling up inside and I must let it out.

Taylor Launter. I hated him. Well I hated Jacob Black so it was easy to hate Launter. At the end of Breaking Dawn I forgave Jacob Black for all the heartache he caused and stopped seeing him as one of the antagonists.....but I still hated him.

To add to that I always felt they screwed up the casting. From book 2, (my reading order after I saw the movie was New Moon, Eclipse, Bella's 2/3 of Breaking Dawn, Midnight Sun, Twilight, Jacob's 1/3 of Breaking Dawn) Jacob Black was Steven Strait for me (from The Covenent and 10,000 BC). I always felt he would be the perfect Jacob Black, the perfect werewolf.
But when I FINALLY went back and read Jacob's 1/3 of Breaking Dawn (because I was sick of re-reading all the books and I was so desperate for a Twilight fix), I was surprised. I started liking him. I couldn't help but sympathize with his misery, his conflicts, and his desperation. And it was only after I finished reading it that it hit me. Taylor Lautner was perfect. The kid exudes Jacob Black's confidence, his stubbornness, his quick anger and that struggle to hold his temper in check. Steven Strait is more of a tranquil kinda guy and he woulda been all wrong.

And then a couple new pictures of Launter popped up on the net and honestly I just gave in. That smile is Jacob Black's smile. End of story.I added a couple more picture below. Taylor Lautner is growing to be a fine young man....but I shall be tame until the lad turns legal.

Looking through forgotten pictures can lead to bad bad things

2009-06-23T22:46:00.000-07:00

Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

Ten minutes ago I remembered I had a hidden folder on my computer, in which I kept all the pictures I didn't want anyone to come across. Eager to reminisce I unhid the folder and started going through the pictures. And BAM! Up comes a picture of Jethro I'd saved off of Facebook back in January [yes I am a professional stalker].
In the picture he's simply standing in the snow with his hair's in his eyes and smiling into the camera in a way that's content, happy, and completely him.
And that's all it takes.
My heart skips a beat.
It's been so long since that happened that for a split second I didn't get what the hell happened. And then it hit and O SHIT! was all I could say while I quickly closed the window.

This is so not good. I can't go back to the way I was, totally completely in love. I'd thought I was over him. Apparently not.
The smart thing to do now would be to delete those pictures, delete him off msn, delete his texts, delete his number, delete these posts about him, DELETE EVERYTHING!
But do we ever do the smart thing?

Are you there God? Its me Aaron. Please please help me.

The Saga Obsession

2009-06-23T14:35:00.000-07:00

With so many sequel releases this year, I've come to an interesting conclusion.
I'm a hardcore series fan. I like stories and movies that cover the span of years, show character development and interactions, introduce new characters, and then end with a big bang that resolves all the conflicts. AKA trilogies, sagas, legends, tales.

-Books-
It started with Enid Blyton's Famous Five series back in Grade 4. I spent the next few summers collecting the books and I still have all 21 lined up on my self. During that period I also read the Baby Sitter's Club series, the Fear Street Saga, the Sweet Valley Twins, Cam Jansen, Laura Ingalls Wilder's Little House, Julie Garwood's Roses and so many many more.
On my shelf right beside the Famous Five is my incomplete Harry Potter series by JK Rowling, (I still need to buy the 6th book). I actually didn't start these books until after the 3rd movie, but I'm glad I finally did. What a series! I've also read Stephanie Meyer's Twilight Saga, but I'm not gonna get started on that yet.
I follow Sherrilyn Kenyon's Dark-Hunters series (though I took a break when Nick Gautier disappeared). My last read was Sins of the Night. And I'm in the middle of the Pendragon series. The last read being Book Eight: The Pilgrims of Rayne. I think all Harry Potter fans should give DJ MacHale's Pendragon books a try.
Hmm...my other incomplete series are Jules Watson's Dalriada Trilogy, the Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini, Thomas Harris's Hannibal books, Robert Ludlum's Bourne series and God I can't even remember what else.

-Movies-
Counting only this year's releases, the series are: X-Men, Terminator, Transformers, Harry Potter, Fast and Furious, Twilight, Dan Brown's Professor Robert Langdon series, and Underworld
The ones that have concluded: Lord of the Rings, the Matrix, High School Musical (ahem Zac Efron people?!?!)
The ones that haven't: Batman, Spiderman, Ocean's (finished?), Toy Story, Mission Impossible, James Bond, Die Hard, Narnia, Madagascar, Shrek, The Job (Italian Job, Brazillian Job), Charlie's Angels, and the Bourne movies
And the ones that have just started: Ironman, Sin City, Wanted, Jumper, 300, Star Trek, and possibly even Watchmen.

So why list them?
To keep track, I guess. I'll probably add to this list down the road. But eventually my goal is to finish all the series I started and maybe start a few that I've never had the chance to, like Agatha Christie's Sherlock Holmes (hopefully the movies will be a series as well!).

Houston, we have initial contact

2009-06-23T10:08:00.000-07:00

So my friend Fluffy Rose [this will annoy her] killed my buzz, but yesterday was actually quite the breakthrough with Jethro. HE MESSAGED!!! All that being on msn paid off hehe. But reality check, 20 words in 20 mintues doesn't really mean anything. Lets take this a step at a time. [See Furry Rattle I can be mature]

Right now there are bigger things to worry about.
Less than 48 hours till the exam I'm going to fail. I really should not be on here, so I'm going to finish this post, waste some more time AND THEN immediately get back to studying!!

-IR Spectroscopy isn't as hard as it looks

Jethro and IT

2009-06-22T17:02:00.000-07:00

So........IT is on msn again. Its because le crush, Jethro, is online now, and so begins the game of cat and mouse which is probably all in my head. So what's the big deal with Jethro? Well....
I'll start with his appearance because that's all I saw for a very long time. Shallow, I know.
I met Jethro during senior year at high school. He walked into the room and the world stopped for me. He was exactly my type. Blue green eyes, dark longish hair, shy, slight frame, and a brilliant nerd. He was Cillian Murphy with glasses (and I'm not the only one who sees the resemblance).
Neways long story short, I introduced myself, we became friends and thats all it stayed. I graduated with my lil crush and a friendship I thought I'd never see again. Fast-forward 3 years. We meet again, and this time I'm not letting go. We REALLY become friends, and I'm still completely speechlessly dazzled with his pretty-ness.

This is when the bubble burst.

As I get to know Jethro, he's no longer just a pretty boy, the Cillian Murphy for us lowly humans, or the person my tongue gets stuck around. He's a grounded, down to earth boy with a heart thats too big, moods that are super erratic, and a temper to match mine. He's unorganized, lazy, spends money on the weirdest things, and can't shut up when he gets started. He's got serious issues with picking the wrong friends and says yes when he should say no and no when he should say yes. BUT you won't find a more loyal friend, a more kinder, sweeter soul, a more reliable son, or a more dependable brother.
And so it happened. My happy life with my lil crush turned into a stupid nightmare of love. Things were good for a while. We were friends, he knew I felt more, but that was cool and I wasn't delusional.
And then things went wrong. VERY VERY HORRIBLY WRONG.

but i'll talk about that later.

Foot Curse

2009-06-22T13:00:00.000-07:00

So my amazing cousin, who is also my godsister*, and prlly the only person on this planet earth I consider an older sister, bought me these amazing gladiator sandals for my birthday. I am totally in love with them and I hope she knows it. [Thank you again!!] They're from Sirens and were for $26.50 (I went to Square One and checked. I can't help it!) and they're super comfortable. Except that when I wore them today...4th day in a row may I add, my right foot grew a tiny red blister which promises to blossom.
The Foot Curse strikes again.

---Story of the Foot Curse---
Ever since I stopped wearing sneakers (grade 9) and started wearing heels, platforms, sandals, flip flops, or stilettos, made of cloth, rubber, leather, faux leather, suede, plastic, w/e, the shoe in question ALWAYS leaves its mark on my foot (or feet). The thing is, when I'm wearing the shoes I am seriously comfortable. You tell me to run and I will run in my 4 inch heels (which i have done, behind a bus, at 1 in the night, in downtown Toronto) and I won't kill my ankle (thank God for small mercies) nor will my feet hurt. BUT as soon as I take them off there will be a blister that makes its presence known. This blister starts red, then bursts and peels, turning brown and if I deny it and continue wearing those shoes, it eventually becomes bloody and turns into a callus. I've tried oils, creams, band aids, but nothings gives and my option remains trashing the shoes :(

To make this story sadder, my only fashion passion are shoes. I don't care about clothes, purses, jewelry, scarves, make-up, or anything else. But I do love my shoes.
*sigh*
So now I'm going to try wearing them once more with a band aid and lots of prayers, and hopefully that blister will just shrivel up and die.

*like godfather, except a sister

Purple Music

2009-06-21T21:29:00.000-07:00

so i can upload pictures on this thing [insert angel emoticon]

so i went shopping today and picked up a HIM shirt for $7.99, which is an amazing deal thank you very much. Normally I would add to this a rant about how HIM is a the greatest band on this planet. But truth be told its not for everyone. I think HIM targets the romantic and the depressive*. the masochistic romantics who watch movies like Titanic, Sweet November and in my case A Walk to Remember again and again. Who will cry every time and still claim to have been fully entertained and full-filled with the movie experience. This is complete bullshit but also completely true.
When i listen to Ville Valo's voice it takes possession of my thoughts and I honestly can't think when he's singing. The lyrics aren't complicated and are pretty uncreative, but then again I never cared about lyrics. His crooning for death, for love, for the misery he's feeling gives the music a voice. Both are completely in sync and do not seem separate. His voice without the music and the music without the voice don't make sense. Its what my dark romantic soul is screaming. I didn't realize a soul could be described in music until HIM. And thats quite simply what they represent for me. and to hell with everyone else.
but i really should add im not a fan of their new music. its more alternative rock than love metal. they switched managers [i need to reference this] and this one is trying to make them more marketable, which i appreciate. it makes HIM more popular and brings them to my town, but it takes them away from who they are and they are the gods of love metal. hopefully their new album, tentatively titled SCREAMWORKS: Love in Theory and Practice, coming out Valentine's Day 2010, stays truer to them than Venus Doom, though the name doesnt give me much hope :(

Bands who speak similarly to me with a couple of their songs are NIN, Smashing Pumpkins, Marylin Manson, Apocalyptica, and Within Temptation. But then I'm two people in one and therefore my purple soul is more moody, less tolerant, deepy introvert, and very close lipped. My turquoise side has a whole different range of music which i will get into later...for your reading pleasure ;D

-i need earphones
-lets see how long i cant put off my next post

* different from depressed, depressive means you have the potential to be made temporarily depressed though you are not a depressed person, this is also different from emo

Second Post

2009-06-21T20:46:00.000-07:00

So this is fun.
I assure you not all of these posts will be so long nor so frequent. Right now this is my shiny new toy. Patience is virtue, my dears.

Just finished my profile. *Please note* I am NOT an Aaron Eckhart fan. It is a name of convenience and familiarity. But also his role in the Dark Knight is one that speaks to me. <-- this I cannot explain.
Books and movies I will get into. I'm currently reading John McMurry's Organic Chemistry, 7th edition (its the exam! the exam! I no longer claim nor aspire to be a nerd). I watched War of the Worlds and 1/2 of Independence Day two nights ago. Yesterday I was watching the Unusuals and Scrubs....and some dances from So You Think You Can Dance, courtesy of my cousin. Theyre not my choice of shows though I do like Zac Braff but not Elliot.

So IT is happening again. IT is who I become when I get obsessed with my crush, though I believe it is an ex-crush now, or so I would like to convince myself, or maybe it is and maybe i'm in denial.
...see, this can go on.
I should probably name IT, but right now I do not feel inspired.
So anyways IT has signed onto msn though its been months since i've signed in two nights in a row. But things change when ur ex-crush adds you back on msn. Pathetic but Imminent (thesaurus.com).
and of course ever thing has a consequence....now i have to go talk to people -_-

I can't spell "for beans" <-- my lil brother says that

First Day First Blog

2009-06-21T20:03:00.000-07:00

So this has been what 6 months in coming? Actually if I'm really going for accuracy I should say about 10 months in coming.
But now I've been inspired to go forth and finally try it...

I have no faith it will last.

Of course I start this instead of studying for my exam, because as a wise person once said or twice said, "all brilliant ideas come to you when your suppose to be studying for an exam". and that's not only brilliant ideas, but movies you wanted to watch, books you were curious to read (ahem twilight ahem), and people you've been meaning to catch up with. -_-

Neways negativity aside. This blog is going to be my summary and my "rant space" for the amazing drama in my life [there is no drama my dear]. It shall be insprirational, motivational, and meaningfulational. At times it will make you laugh and at times it will make you cry (boredom) but regardless it shall be straight from the lil creature living in me (very alien-esque).

So here it goes...